5. A Nomad's Hunch

Sometimes It Just Feels Right

I had a very long walk from the apartment to school, 30-40 minutes, a mile and a quarter. Not a bad walk, scenic, a lot of empty farm land, deserted houses that we were warned not to play in but ignored. Once we found a bunch of shoes that looked like elves shoes. We were sure elves or pixies lived in the abandoned house and made bets on who would be the first to catch one.

I had walked this route so many times, I was sure I knew every inch except the dirt road I had never ventured down. I heard there were stables and not having much experience with horses was curious and began down the dusty, rarely driven road.

I found some more abandoned houses and a barn that looked as though no one had been in it for years. I could see where other kids had thrown rocks through all the windows but there were a few left for me to bust. The houses needed work but they weren’t bad and I could while away the hours without anyone noticing. After tiring of that, I noticed a sign halfway hidden for a horse stable off to the side and began up that road.

I walked up the winding dirt road and found a riding stable complete with barn, house, riding ring and acres and acres of land rimmed with tall corn husks. It was beautiful and back here no one would ever imagine it here. I wandered around a bit when I felt something holding onto my right thigh. When I looked behind me to see what it was, I grew stiff with panic. A gigantic Great Dane had me by the thigh! I didn’t know what to do but hold my breath and hope someone would come rescue me. The dog wasn’t growling or anything. Just holding on.

“Duke, what you got there?” A skinny gray haired lady came walking up to us. “A little girl. Good boy, you can let go now.” She said patting the dog on its head while he released my leg.

“I was looking around trying to find someone.” I told her a white lie and felt my thigh to be sure I still had it.

“Well, old Duke keeps his eye on the place for me. He didn’t mean no harm. Just holds them until I come round. Well, unless they raise a fuss. Now that ain’t very pretty.”

“He is very efficient.” I said trying to regain my composure, rubbing my thigh to get the blood circulating again.

The old lady laughed and said, “Yep, I can count on old Duke. What can we do you for?”

I hadn’t counted on this question so I couldn’t readily reply. I stammered a bit and then said, “What do you do here?”

“We raise horses and teach people how to ride them. Once they decide they want one of their own we help them raise them and they can keep their horses here. Do you like horses?”

I didn’t know. I didn’t dislike them that was for sure. I hadn’t ever thought about riding one but it sounded interesting but I was sure you had to be older then me. “I’ve never ridden one. How old do you have to be?”

The old lady laughed again. “I like you.” She said with a smile on her lips. “Never ridden one, eh?”

“No, but I am sure I want to when I am old enough.” I said reassuring myself I would be old enough to ride a horse one day.

“There are some things in life that you have to be a certain age to do, but riding a horse isn’t one of them.” She looked at me. “What’s your name?”

“Shelley. Nice to meet you.” I wanted to stay on this lady’s good side.

“I’m Nell. Do you want to learn how to ride a horse Shelley?”

My eyeballs grew in size. I couldn’t believe my luck. I could ride a horse! “Yes, very much please!”

“Ok, no problem. All I need is for your mom or dad to sign a permission slip.”

I felt like the world had fallen out of my bottom. I knew my mom would never give me permission to ride a horse! Take finishing school or a fashion class, no problem, but a smelly horse would never fly. The owner saw the happiness disappear from my face.

“Let’s go up to my office and I’ll give you the form.” She said taking my hand and escorted me to a room off the side of the barn. The room was full of ribbons, trophies, whips, spurs, odds and ends of saddle and bridle parts. “Have a sit Shelley. I know that paper is here somewhere.” She began rummaging though drawers half mumbling to herself.

“Well, that’s ok.” I said. “I doubt my mom would let me anyway. She’s not a horse person.” I wanted the owner to understand. She’d been one of the first adults I talked to that I liked.

“Why don’t I talk to her? Sometimes that helps. What do you think?”

“You would do that?”

“Sure, I think you’d be good rider. What is your home number?”

I’d had to memorize this and blurted out the numbers in hopes I got the order right.

The owner dialed the number and held the receiver, as I would imagine she would hold the reins on a horse and took mental notes. My eyes wandered to one of the horses tied up in the barn when I heard the owner speak.

“Hello. I own a riding stable in the neighborhood. I found your daughter Shelley looking around this afternoon, she’s here with me.” I couldn’t hear my mom but from the look on Nell’s face it wasn’t good.

“Oh no mam, nothing like that. She was just looking at the horses. She seems to fancy them. We talked a little bit about horses and I think Shelley is interested in learning how to ride.” Again with the look on Nell’s face. I was panicking.

“That would be great. Take Louisiana to farmers crossing and take the first dirt road on your right. You’ll see the sign for the stables about half a mile up the road on the right and I’m another mile up on the left.” Pause, “Very good, well, we’ll see you in a few minutes. Good-bye.”

My heart was at a stand still waiting for Nell to tell me what my mom said. “Don’t worry so much child. She sounds very nice. She didn’t say ‘no’. Let’s brush Candy out.” I followed Nell over to the horse tied up and she took a brush and started on the horses back. “They love this. Just like a massage to them. See how she’s relaxing?”

I went to touch the horses side and tummy. “Yes, she’s beautiful.” Her coat felt so soft and her tummy started to move as the owner brushed and softly spoke into the horse’s ear. Neighing sounds and a soft purring. I was entranced. It was like a big dog but different. I hadn’t been around either much so all of this was a whole new world to me and I felt enthused. The owner let me brush the horse’s sides and belly, while she blew air up the horses nostrils through her nostrils and they seem to be having a conversation with the air going back and forth. “You’re a natural kid. Were you born with a horse brush in your hand?” She chuckled at her joke. I was too absorbed to answer and then I heard a car pulling up.

I continued to brush the horse and began to imitate the sounds the owner spoke to the horse, with her standing by my side. I could smell my mom’s perfume and heard her high heels on the wooden floor of the barn. I turned around and my mom was checking the heels of her shoes for horseshit.

“Good afternoon, I’m so glad you came. Please come into my office. Shelley you just keep brushing. You’re doing a bang up job!”

My mom was having none of it. “What do you think you are doing young lady? Who told you that you could come over here by yourself?”

“I went home and no one was there to let me in (second white lie). I don’t like sitting there until someone comes home.”

This embarrassed my mom and she blushed. “That still doesn’t make it right.’

“I’m sorry.” I said, knowing that if I argued it would hurt the motive for getting her here.

My mom didn’t know what to say to that. That’s when the owner piped up and suggested we all go into her office.

I could tell my mom did not want to sit down. She was eyeing everything in the most politely snobbish way she could. The owner caught it because she took a clean sheet from under her desk and laid it over her best chair for my mom.

“Thank you.” My mother almost whispered.

“Well, I know that barns are not the cleanest places around, don’t blame you.”

“Now listen Shelley. I know that things have been harder lately but I don’t like the idea of your walking over here alone.” My mom said looking directly at me and giving me her Doris Day smile behind gritted teeth.

“Mom it’s on the way home from school that I am walking to and from everyday. What’s the difference?”

“Oh? I thought your school was in the other direction?”

“That was the first school. I go to the school down the next road now.”

My mom was really flustered now. “When did that….oh never mind. I want to think about this and I need to know how much it will cost.”

Nell informed her of the fees “You wouldn’t have to worry about her. I’d make sure she was ok. She really likes the horses and seems to have a knack with them. It’s unusual to see someone so young show such an interest.”

“Uh-uh…” my mom mumbled sounding like she was wondering to herself whose side I had inherited this interest from knowing it wasn’t hers. She was looking at me very intently. Like she had a big secret about the family’s past she wanted to share but nothing came out of her mouth.

The owner continued, “Shelley could come Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for lessons after school. We could start her off and if she doesn’t like it or the Mrs. ain’t happy, the riding stops.”

The room fell silent for what felt like ages until my mom shifted in her seat and said resignedly, “Maybe it would be good for Shelley. Her father died almost a year ago and it’s been a tough year for her.”

“I’m sure as well for you.” The owner took my mom’s hand and stroked it sympathetically.

“Yes, “ replied my mom, “I’ve had my moments.” She smiled weakly. I thought she was going to cry, but got up instead and said, “Whom do I make the check out to? Is a weekly check ok? I can send it with Shelley.”

Horses became my solace, my escape. I never felt freer.